Final Post!! Sunday 4/20: Poem Revisions

The two poems I have decided to revise are: “A Girlfriend Explains Why She Said Yes” and “A Love Poem for Van Cortlandt Park”.  I decided to chose these two because they are the ones I am most interested in, yet at the same time, am having the most difficult with.  As soon as we were given the assignment of making a love poem to a not so lovey place, I thought of Van Cortlandt Park in the Bronx, NY and as soon as we discussed “because prompt” poems I thought of all the people whoever questioned me dating outside of my race.  These poems were less of an assignment and more of a getaway for me, which is why I have decided to stick with them and elaborate on them. 

I took the advice of chapter 10 in writing my love poem, in that I started with writing the last sentence first.  After finding one that I really liked, I decided to back it up by starting from the beginning.  This process helped me find what I wanted people to get out of the poem right away. 

I plan on adding more personal imagery to both of them, since they more personalized experiences than anything else.  I also want to bring in things that make them stand out; things that other people wouldn’t think of putting in unless they knew exactly what I was thinking.  I want the “because” poem to stand out as a love poem strictly for me and my boyfriend, not for all relationships.  This is why I plan to add personal images, personal expeiences into it. 

I’m having trouble in the format department.  Mainly, because it seems as if it should be so easy to format, and then when it comes down to it, I’m very lost.  It’s difficult when I know how I want it to flow, but others read it differently.  I am still trying to figure out where I should pause, add enjambment, place some punctuation and so on. 

I’m also going to elaborate on the good parts (anything that my peers enjoyed) or anything that sticks out to me and erase the rest.  I don’t want people to get bored when reading my poetry, I don’t want them to get too much information either.  I want it to be quick, to the point, yet still informative.  I think that reading chapter 10 helped a lot in directing me where I need to be.